The relatively unassuming-looking 997 Turbo in the photo above is about to do something rather unusual: in its fourth-ever dragstrip pass, it will turn a 9.796-second quarter-mile at 146.42 miles per hour. How much power do you need to do that? About a thousand horsies’ worth. Coming straight out of a place where non-armpit-shaving feminists dominate public discourse to the extent that Coca-Cola was banned from the campus performance hotbed Oberlin, Ohio, the people at Switzer Performance are the developers of the “Switzer SLEDGEHAMMER”. You can turn your crappy, slow old 997 Turbo into a nine-second monster for the low, low price of, ahem, $49,990. Considering that this sum would barely buy you a completely color-matched leather interior from Porsche, it’s not that bad of a price, really. And since the nice people at Switzer wouldn’t want you to take their word for that nine-second quarter, there’s a video as well. I wonder how fast they could make my non-Varioram Porsche 993 go? [Source: YouTube]