[Update: Another bad driving video just added!] Tee hee hee. There was just some righteously lousy driving at last weekend’s Arse-Freeze-Apalooza. Of course there was good driving, too. But it seems to me like most of it was lousy. Fun guys, lots of fun — but lousy. I mean, how many people did I make wander the pits wearing, “Bad Driver” or “No Talent” or “Not Michael Schumaker” sashes? Answer: many. And remember, the cats coming in so I could get all judicial on their asses were the guys (and girls!) that got caught. The poor overwhelmed flag workers just simply couldn’t keep up with the four-wheels off carnage. And most likely tore their rotator cuffs in the process. Don’t believe me? I got the video(s)! Jump…
This one’s pretty great. My pal Ian Wood is driving the #10 Shark car. He’s got the line heading into the chicane. The #6 Sentra pig car comes flying up on the right and hits the first part of the chicane (watch for the orange cone flying up and into the frame after the Sentra hits), and then pushes the Shark car into the second half of the chicane. If you listen closely you can hear Mr. Wood yell, “FUCK!” A couple of points: 1) Wow, that BMW 528e is a hella stout car. There was no damage. 2) Ian got black flagged for this, not the Nissan. Now, I was standing in the penalty box when Ian rolled up. He made the near cardnial sin of jumping out of the car and slamming down his helmet (bad because it not only ruins your helmet, but gets you booted by actual judges who aren’t depending on you for a ride home). Ian then started screaming about the guy that hit him and didn’t get flagged. My first instinct was, “Sure buddy, sure.” But hey, lookie here, vindicated by video. Good on you, Ian.
This is from Adam Lazur’s “Jackass Moments Captured Just For You.” And man, is there some jackassery. Mr. Lazur provides some pretty straight forward commentary (“There is a chicane there. It was there the whole race.”) along with some goofy tunes. Not only does this video answer an age old question (How do you get into a head-on collision while driving on a one way course?) but you get to see another glorious instance of the poor shark car making sweet love to a tire barrier. According to Clay (the driver) it was someone else’s fault. Why, of course!
Oh well well — it’s those Porcubimmer devilas and surprise, surprise — they’re captruing their own jackassery on tape. Normally, I’d lash my tongue even harder, but they did bribe me with a bottle of Zaya Gran Reserva rum… So… who put that bleepin’ chicane there!?! Right in front of the poor, excellent driving, totaly guilt-free Porcubimmers? Tsk, tsk. Also — Scott and the gang — I grabbed and polished off another bottle of Zaya for New Years. You have changed my life. Thank you.
Finally, here’s a nice picture for all you boys and girls. Two wheels off, woo hoo!
Posted By: Jonny Lieberman | 57 Comments »
Tags: 24 Hours of LeMons Adam Lazur Arse-Freeze-Apalooza Corvair LeMons Shark Thunderhill Thunderhill LeMons
This is the best sh*t-talking LeMons thread I’ve ever seen.
Overall we had a great time. If that bolt in the transaxle had not backed out and drained the transmission empty we would have had a better time, but I digress…
We are reducing some video and will post links here when it’s done. We had two instances of a car slamming up on the inside between the chicanes and causing us to make a desicion, 1) hit said car, 2) hit the tires, or 3) go off course to avoid 1 & 2. We chose three both times and got rewarded, both time, with a black flag and all the pagentry that comes with it. Not bitching, just pointing out that after all it was an *enduro* race, as someone else pointed out. Look for the video soon.
From the best finishing Saab, the one without any contacts on it at all.
http://www.saabsgonewild.com
Probably a better Link for the “Ultra Clean Pass” by the 007 Pendejo Engineering Jag XJ V12.
http://www.vimeo.com/2708791
Now that I have somewhat figured out this editing program, I will be putting a bunch more up. Anyone for Alice and Chain’s Junkhead for a racing sound track?
All I got from that Jag video is that some of y’all take this shit wayyy too seriously. I had the door slammed on me plenty of times, sometimes appropriately, sometimes completely inappropriately. So what did I do? I passed them later.
At least the Pandamonium videos are mostly lighthearted. With 4-5 drivers per car, I’m sure all of our cars did something stupid here and there, it’s fun to watch.
Sheesh. All I know is some of us “arrogant BMW drivers” are apparently having way more fun than the drama queens.
Adam, hope you guys get your electrical gremlin sorted.
Wow!! What a great display of butt driving! Plus a fantastic display of trash talkin’!!
I now realize how lucky we were to stay on the track and out of trouble for the whole race. It took some effort to just back off and give up position to dive bombing idiots, but that’s exactly what we did. The number of cars that made some donkey pass on the Gnome only to go off track within the same lap was too big to keep track of.
Also note that the top teams like Eyesore, J-Style, and Bigfoot hunter, didn’t seem to have these problems. I’m just sayin’…
BushWacker, my apologies, good Sir, for the indicental contact with my secret agent vehicle on the last lap of the race. You see, some of us with the British Secret Service are still a bit sore at the Germans for the whole bombing of London to rubble indicent some years ago. It was therefore dictated by Q that the Jaguar must not finish behind a German vehicle. Fortunately Professor Jag, one of the lesser members of the service, was driving and not me – as I do have a license to kill.
Thanks James Bond… I needed that laugh.
You boys need to calm down – this is LEMONS.
However, it does appear to me from the video that the shark car did purposely hit or almost hit the Jaguar after the finish line. Angry or not that’s a racing no-no!
I agree with Lieberman though – mandatory three legged race for these two before the next race they’re both at!
I agree with King O’ – The good teams didn’t seem to have any problems out there because they understand something most other teams don’t – In professional racing, you can predict what other drivers will do when you dive corners or try an aggressive pass. In LeMons racing, it’s like driving on the freeway – you can’t predict what the knucklehead in front of you is going to do, so it’s best to BACK OFF and WAIT until a safe time to pass – something a lot of drivers didn’t seem to grasp.
I was out there for the first 3 hours of the race during perhaps the highest point of debauchery, and managed to go off 0 times, hit 0 chicanes and receive 0 black flags. Yes, I had to back off repeatedly, allowed more aggressive drivers to pass, and watched that cursed Corvair stall, spin and shudder more times than I can remember, but guess what? By the time I came out we were sitting in 4th. It’s easy to stay out of trouble…if you use your head and check your Hans Stuck-wannabe ego at the door.
Kurt G.
ZZ Uber Das Driver
Awwww common Lieberman! That was a super clean pass for down south NASCAR i just never said where it was clean
I will bow to the judges call though and looking forward to the three legged race… Can we have a few shots first?
Geez, I hope you boys aren’t drinkin’ before you go racin’…..
Jonny, I need to know if any of the drivers have done so. If they have, and were allowed to drive anyway, that will do it for me. I won’t even bother to show up.
This has to be a hard and fast rule, no drinking alcohol before going on the track. It’s bad enough to have the aggressive drivers take chances, and the inexperienced drivers not really knowing what they are doing, but we really don’t need any drunk race car drivers.
I was first driver on our team, and after 16.5 MILES of yellow flags, got the semi green, and was run off the course coming up the chicane before turn 8. Over aggressive drivers thinking the race was on the last lap vs. the beginning of the race.
Making room, and not wrecking the car on the first lap got me a %hit call black flag IMHO.
We got hit again with one of those, on the same corner… trying not to knock the car out.
On day 2 limped around for 20 laps with a blownup transmission— 2nd and 5th gear. Sorry if I slowed anyone down. The trans got mad at me about 15 laps into Sunday’s run. While holding it HARD into 2nd gear, it smashed out of my hand, and into First-nd… A new gear ratio was born. Something between 1st and 2nd. The shifter knob broke off in my hand when the level lurched from my hand. Got a bruised right hand still. When we had the full course black flag, and did the restart from pit lane, I was starting in 5th gear– all we had left. Amazingly, I was hitting 95 mph at the end of the straight, going into turn 1… Turn 8 was a bitch, and it chugged passing 14 into 15… but then pulled.
Oh well– we’ll see what happens at the next race. We had a blast, as usual.
SGW
Wow, who invited the drama llama? I’m not going to get into any flame wars but will defend our team (Porcubimmer) on a few points.
First, why the E30 hate? At the last Altamont race and other previous WC LeMons races, there have only been like 4-6 E30s including ours. It’s not our fault the organizers chose so many to be in this race. In addition, we were in the top 20 coolest cars according to Loverman, so at least our effort to have a good theme was recognized.
Also, not all E30s are created equal. We are racing a 325*E*. E = eta = efficiency = 121hp with a 5000 rpm redline, vs. 167hp on the 325i. The 325e was BMW’s take on an economy minded model. So don’t think all of these cars are factory racers. We’re down over 50 hp compared to the i models which made up the majority of the E30s in this race!
And yeah, we had some admittedly bad driving moments where we ran out of talent. That’s why we posted the video. When it was my stint, I did exactly the same thing as Kris did in the video above when I thought I had enough speed to get past a car before the second chicane on the straight, but did not, and had to duck in at the last second… what a surprise with only 121hp, right?
In total we got 5 black flags:
1. Passing under a yellow – totally deserved
2. Spinning out and going off course (newb driver) – totally deserved
3. Getting two tires off when forced off the track – not really deserved and the judges agreed
4. Contact – the People’s Curse Crown Vic spun a car right in front of us going into 5 and our driver couldn’t stop in time so he tapped into one of the spun cars – completely undeserved but it’s part of the game
5. Contact – our driver got the green flag over the radio and floored it. The driver of the black Fox Mustang in front of us apparently didn’t have a radio spotter and kept putting around, closing the door on our driver in 5 so he accidentally T-boned the Stang. Our driver shouldn’t have assumed the Stang driver know what he was doing so the black flag was somewhat deserved.
So only two of our flags were really due to brain fade. The other three were incidental. We are by no means innocent of bad driving, but there were plenty of other risky maneuvers successfully made. That’s what the race is all about.