24 Hours of LeMons: Faster Farms

Thunderhill LeMons: The 20 Coolest Cars of Arse-Freeze-Apalooza

#15
Lemon Martini Racing
Porsche 914 

 

Any yahoo can go find a beater 924 or 944 and have themselves a race. But it takes a special man — some would argue a stupid man — to run a totally open, 46 hp broke-ass 914 at Thunderhill. The Lemon Martini boys also get the award for “Worst Sounding Yet Still Running” car. Especially on start up. Ferdinand Piech would be so appalled — it’s epic.

#14
Team Geo Metro-Gnome
CBR900RR Powered Geo Metro 

 

Hey look, it’s the overall winner. And yes, it is totally hard to front on a moto-engined, chain driven Geo Effin Metro. Seriously, think about it. 

#13
Italian Stalians
Fiat X1/9 

What these foolios lacked in theme they made up with ginormous testicular fortitude — and half of ‘em were women. As it turned out the important half. Wandering round the pits late Saturday night I see two ladies feverishly wrenching on the horrid lump of pig iron and tin that is a Fiat X1/9 engine.  While their men folk slumped behind ‘em and pounded beer/scratched butt.  Bonus points for their Hazet tool box. Seriously — bee’s knees people. 

#12
Blues Brothers Racing
Ford Crown Victoria Police Interceptor 

Turning a Crown Vic (or Caprice) into a cop car is about as original as breathing. It’s been done to death. And it’s especially bothersome because a giant ass car like a Panther platform Ford should be seen as a huge old canvas vis-a-vis LeMons. But no, we just get cop cars. Anyhow, the Blues Brothers car is on this list because after it was ripped apart by an artist with a giant claw and then dropped from 15 feet in the air, these whack jobs somehow got it back on the track and then set the fastest lap of the race (1:31.474 — the next fastest was 1:32.692 by the Ghettocharged Miata). Here’s a little gallery of these poor slobs getting their car torn apart by a maniac artist with a giant claw — the last picture in the series is Evil John Pagel re-teching the car after it got the Curse:

#11
Ecurie Ecrappe Autodenta
Alfa? (Lord Only Knows )

 

A picture is worth how many of these things? What an Alfa. I mentioned that the right front corner got caved in, right? Luckily, duct tape and red pain [sic] are still cheap. And I can tell by the Saab suit, that’s none other than Jay Lamm behind the wheel. Though I’m pretty sure it wasn’t him who popped off the mighty fast 1:34 lap. What a great car. 

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