The shit talkin’ is reaching new heights of cattiness here on Autofiends. In this edition of “You Be the Judge” I’ll be taking off my sexy, figure-flattering judicial robes and letting y’all decide. In this corner we have the amazingly named Pendejo Racing and their epic, triple cool Shaguar XJS. With twelve — count ‘em, twelve – cylinders of British fury beating under bonnet there is no doubt Pendejo’s Jag can fly by cars the way Sir Winston Churchill raced after fifths of gin. But in that corner we have the #10 car, a BMW 528e with 350,000+ miles on it and piloted by Southern California’s greatest driver (just ask him). All dressed up like a shark, too. Jump to hear each side’s argument.
First up, the Pendejo’s: “The best one of the race yet was the shark car got taught how not to leave the door open with a ultra clean pass on the inside between 6 and the tire barrier on 7 by our jag on the race to the checkered flag. So after not being able to re-pass us on the straight he chose to be a typical BMW driver and drive into our passenger door and yell Your a asshole DUDE! to our driver. As far as racing goes that was BS on a huge level and secondly you actually tried to hit a 4 thousand pound car with you Bavarian crap can. We were laughing our asses off..”
Oooh! Fightin’ words, indeed. Teaching peeps to drive (on the last lap of the race, too), yelling about typical BMW drivers, calling the Shark a “Bavarian crap can,” etc. Nasty stuff. But, obviously, the Sharks bite back!
Sharks: “I have video of that supposed “Ultra Clean Pass” where I pass your Jag driver on the inside(left) of the turn before the chicane. He then goes from my right around my tail and sneaks up on my left(where there was no room unless you had one wheel in the dirt) and slams my left side just before the chicane. ULTRA CLEAN. The same place another knuckle head put our Shark into the Chicane barrier earlier that day. Yeah I yelled at your driver. He rammed me and nearly put me into the tires. All because I passed your two tonner on the inside cleanly. This wasn’t the first time you car banged me. Funny thing was it was in the same turn 8 with me way on the inside and clean your drive came over into me on day one. Not sure what you term as clean, let alone “Ultra Clean”, but I have the video to prove your driver rushed up and rammed my left side. And I never tried to hit your car. I really wanted to but my better half restrained myself from doing a pit maneuver on your ass in the last turn. I have no problem getting passed cleanly. Your boy DID NOT pass me cleanly and taught me no lesson.”
Oh snap! Hell, make that double snap! And you just know that the Pendejos will have a witty, cutting response. Why, here it is:
Pendejos: “First of all, your rookie driving skills and lack of track awareness is what got your in trouble. You left the door wide open and as a racer and a competitor on the last lap of the race, it was my duty to try to repass you. I pulled up inside of you cleanly and you tried to close the door on me. TOO LATE. If I did get 2 tires off it was only after you turned left into me. I then had position on the tire chicane. Not my fault you didnt protect your line. I find it funny I managed to drive both days and never had contact with anything or anyone. How many things did you hit again? Id [sic] love to see the video. Both of them.”
Ladies, please! Now, there are some who might say that a wheezing 528e might be the reason the Sharks got passed by the mighty Brit. After all, it’s horsepower you need on the long straight. Others might say the Pendejos live up to their name. Needless to say, they go on like that for a couple dozen more comments. No one is anyone’s bitch, bitch. The proof as they say, is in the profanity laced video. It’s up to you. And even if you can’t decide on who is right/wrong, you’ll give the George S. Patton-style cussing a big time thumbs up:
Posted By: Jonny Lieberman | 25 Comments »
Tags: 24 Hours of LeMons 24 Hours of LeMons Thunderhill 528e Arse-Freeze-Apalooza BMW BMW 528e Jaguar Jaguar XJS LeMons Thunderhill LeMons Tunderhill V12
Holy crap, great swearing, otherwise a big fat nothingburger of a video. Some poor decision making by both drivers, but if that is what you guys got so worked up about I fourth the suggestion that you tie the cars together for the next race.
-Team cap’n ONSET (the rolled 6 race Cavalier wagon)
That’s funny Eyesore! And it underscores my point about the best teams seeming to never have these “problems” out on the track. Hey, I’m just sayin’….
Us Gnomes look forward to seeing your ugly ass car next event BTW.
Funniest part of the video is that both the Bimmer and Jag passed the Escort like it was idling in neutral, yet the Escort STILL smoked them both with a top 5 finish. Further proof that it isn’t speed or aggressive passing that wins this race.
Kurt G.
ZZ Uber Das Driver
I do have to say that the Cavalier wagon was fast. I diced with him for about 6 laps just before his rear wheel bearing snapped the spindle. I would pass him, he would pass me. Back and forth about 8 times. We never bummed each other. Fun time. I was bummed to see you on the side of the track. Glad you’re okay.
Cudos to the Escort. Great finish guys!!!!!
Do we listen to the organisers at all ever? I did think the point of the race was to coax the most unlikely vehicles to do the unlikeliest things in the strangest and most fun manner. Eg get a corvair up the hill at 5. Sometimes.
That said, the last lap makes sweet FA difference to your standings 99% of the time, so if you want to dent your car it’s about the best time to do it.
Yesterday I asked my mechanic (the unique Walter Wong) why he won a prize for “Most Heroic Fix” at a previous LeMons. It was for rebuilding two engines more than once during the race, including using parts from his own road car. Although you might think this necessary in any race involving a Saab, in this race he replaced the cylinder head gasket in 90 minutes for a saab team who later threw a piston because they didn’t have a rev limiter and drove madly. I have pix (here http://www.flickr.com/photos/richardhod/3153176962/in/set-72157611870199552/ on) of the engine block or whatever out on the tarmac while they were fixing it. all relaxed, smiling and chatting.
To me it’s such fixes (also like those guys with the Home Depot turbo – here, next to cheater tank” http://www.flickr.com/photos/richardhod/3153243292/in/set-72157611870199552/ ), and the style of those who care to build with steam engines on top of their car, or tie on fuzzy sea creatures, or Grinches and so on who wmbody the spirit of the races best.
As it happens, the car which came first was cool too. But not bevcause they won, but because they were fast runners in a GEO metro with a motorbike engine. Genius! If they’d come fourth they still would have won a prize I’m sure…
I thought Northern California was land of the laid back post-hippie crowd? From the assorted videos, I was way wrong. At LeMons South, barely 100 mile from Darlington herself in the heart of Nascar country, with less space-per-car, we didn’t have near the jackassery that has been displayed on these videos. We had 3 rookie drivers and nary a scratch on the car when it blew up (except for the pre-existing damage where it was slid sideways into a fire hydrant).
Oh, and the incident in question was a nudge at best. Or, *THAT* is what you guys have waggling your junk back and forth about?
True is was a nudge. But the BMW driver was Australian and the Jaguar driver an inbred dirt tracker. A toxic combination at best.
It’s been said a bunch of times before, but I’ll say it again.
It’s Lemons.
Not FIA GT, not BTCC, not NASCAR, not even Spec E30.
You’re driving doorhandle-to-doorhandle with a bunch of yahoos who’ve never been in a racecar before, much less in combat on a track. It was even mentioned in the Saturday driver’s meeting: (paraphrasing) “fast guys, watch out for the slow guys. They’re not going to do what you expect”.
AFAIK, we had no contact at all (except, of course, for our roof with the dirt…), and we were probably the largest, heaviest car out there. Only two of our six guys had any track time AT ALL, but we managed not to make ashtrays of anyone around us. One corner will not win or lose this race for you. If you think it will, make that pass a few laps sooner so that you don’t have to make a last-second dash up on somebody who might not be looking.
All of that said, I think the Jag move on the Bimmer was clean, if ill-advised. I couldn’t see/hear any contact (then again, I have bad ears and a relatively low-res monitor), but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t there. Protect your line at all times, and don’t run into people unless there’s no other choice.
Simple, right?
The after-checker contact was chicken-shit, but as a recovering road-rage addict, I get it.
All that said, I can’t wait for Reno. I’ll be keeping an eye out for any new drama between these two teams (and I hope there is some), and be waving them by if they appear in my mirrors.
Have fun!
Just so it is clear for all that are not hearing or seeing well……there was no after checkered contact between the BMW and the Jag. The only contact was before the chicane. I came close after the checked but stopped myself. You think I would be that pissed off because someone passed me cleanly without slamming my door and pushing me out of the way????? There was no cheap BS after the flag contact. Probably hard to fit a piece of dental floss between us, but no contact.
Sorry i missed all the fun here!(busy working) can anyone define a slam pass? I cant find that definition anywhere on google. Is it like slam dancing like 1980s early punk dancing or was that just made up.. Look in your mirrors, mirrors, mirrors, you cant miss 4 thousand pounds of white english metal!!!! Cant wait for Reno and the Button Willow i am living for those races.
Lemons Rules and so do all the drivers!!!!